Off-topic: April 2006

Monday, April 17, 2006

Road Rage

A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection with him. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do" bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Movie-Goers Getting Smells to Match Scenes

TOKYO - A theater audience in Japan will be sniffing their noses — literally — at a new Hollywood adventure film when it opens here later this month.

A new service from a major telecommunications company, NTT Communications Corp., will synchronize seven different smells to parts of 'The New World,' starring Colin Farrell.

A floral scent accompanies a love scene, while a mix of peppermint and rosemary is emitted during a tear-jerking scene. Joy is a citrus mix of orange and grapefruit, while anger is enhanced by a herb-like concoction with a hint of eucalyptus and tea tree.

The smells waft from special machines under the seats in the back rows of two movie theaters, which create different fragrances by controlling the mix of oils stored in the machines, company spokeswoman Akiko Suzaki said Wednesday.

In 'The New World,' which opened in the United States in December, Farrell plays American colonial leader John Smith, who is said to have been saved from execution by North American Indian princess Pocahontas.

Theaters will be able to download from the Internet different scent sequences for other films, Suzaki said.

The company began a similar service for homes in Japan last year. Owners of the $620 home version can download different programs to emit smells to accompany a horoscope reading or work as aromatherapy.

Owners must keep refilling the machine with fragrant liquids. NTT Communications would not disclose how many machines it has sold.

U.S. startups have developed similar technologies before, although at least one company had to shut down during the dot-com bust.

This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "That movie stinks".

I wonder what Shrek would smell like?